The Slaps of Reality

A:” What would you like to be in the future?”

B: “I would like to be the next president of United Nation”

A: “Oh, you were young and naïve. I was like you when I was younger and I think you should not aim that high so it won’t hurt when you fail.”

I remember some times when I told people about my dream to be the future finance minister of Indonesia, people will always react. And there are two kinds of reaction: support or slaps of reality. The type of support I could get would be: That is a great dream, Timmy. You can do it and go for it!

And here I will talk about the slaps of reality…

I had a conversation with couple of colleagues during lunch time; I told them about my dream about being the finance minister. There was one surprising reaction: Oh, you are so young and naïve. I was like you when I was younger. Go ahead and pursue your dream. It sounded like a great support but I wasn’t because the sarcastic tone of behind the support.

After a year I could finally understand the reason behind the sarcastic tone.

I do realize that some people, when they were younger, they could conquer the world. Yes, I bet you are one of them. However, some of them become bitter because reality doesn’t turn out like what they dreamed of. On the other hand, I witness some people who actually surpassed what they dreamed of.

 The bitter people believe that reality is cruel and they believe that it happens to everyone. And that is where everything related. These people love to give the slaps of reality to younger generation with the justification as if someone is aiming too high; it will hurt when they fall.

I might be young and naïve, but I think people should stop trying to explain slaps of reality to younger generation. As humans, we are all a dreamer and nobody knows what will happen in the future. For whatever dream people dream of, support them even you thought it is impossible (And I think you should learn to believe that nothing is impossible). Don’t be those people who think they know what the future holds. And even you really really think it is impossible for someone to reach their dream, let the reality slaps them because it is not your job to discourage them.

My Writing Inspiration - Meeting with Mas Iwan Setyawan

Several weeks ago, I had a dinner with my friends and Sampoerna Foundation team. I was glad get to see my friends yet there was a really nice surprise during the dinner. I met with Mas Iwan Setyawan, the inspiring writer of 9 Summers 10 Autumns book (you can buy the book here: http://www.amazon.com/Summers-10-Autumns-Apples-Apple/dp/9792275959)

I could not deny that he is one of the most inspiring people I ever met. If you might have recalled, I keep writing because I would like to inspire my readers (read: http://chtimw13.blogspot.com/2013/10/my-pleasure-from-writing.html). Meeting him was like a reassurance for me that a story or a writing could change people’s live. 

The dinner with Mas Iwan Setyawan - He sat right across me!

His story was very touching; coming from a very very humble background from a small town in Indonesia, he made it big in New York through hard work, tenacity, and a will to achieve. He told me a story when his inspired reader finally achieved his dream to go to New York and took a picture with his book in front of Lady Liberty. He told me that it is not the fame that makes writing of the book very special, but the feedbacks he received from his reader. Deep in my heart, I might not have a book but I would love to inspire people as much as he is doing.

Currently Mas Iwan is running his own analytics firm in Jakarta which made me ask him a question, what encouraged him to come back to Indonesia?

“Because life in Indonesia is more meaningful, coming back to the place you were nurtured and inspire people. Living in a third world country means there are a lot more people needs help. And your life would be more meaningful when you are able to brighten people’s lives.”

His answer struck me deeply.

As a promise, I would keep writing with a wish that one day I will inspire at least one person to reach their dream.

Me and my friends and colleagues with Mas Iwan!

Can't Keep Hanging to the Past

Yesterday I had a nice conversation with my roommate in which led me to this idea. After participating in a Google Hangout event with Kompas TV we talked about how impressive our colleagues from high school are. Some of my juniors won gold medal in international science project,  some of my friends are enjoying overseas travel as part of the exchange programs, Model United Nation conference, or travel for free because they win some competition.

Their achievements make me very happy for them. I witness they reach their dream since high school, and even surpass it in which makes me look back....

I had a very successful run during high school, but during my first year at college I didn't do much other than studying. I did not participate in any kind of extracurricular activity nor joining any competition. All of those high school success did not help me much other than a good reminder that I can. I cannot keep hanging on the memories that I was very successful during high school and tell myself that I did enough.

I realize that all the good stuff during high school was in my past - no longer a present, it is a memories - no longer a reality. And that is the wake up call for me.

I learn that in life, we need consistency or sometimes improvement. As a person, we should never had too much pride on what we had achieved because it will become memories. We should keep improving ourselves, to achieve more and more to reach higher summit.

On the upside part, knowing that all what happened in the past is just memories, never worries that you had bad high school, or bad college experience, because you can always achieve more. Never let bad past drag you down because it is the past not the present, and of course not the future. Even you had a dark past, your future is still white as snow. 

And one day we can sit and stop, where we are content with our condition, and tell stories to younger generation that we had not just great high school experience, or just great college experience, or just great working career. We will tell them stories that we had a great run in our life.

So friends, never let the past either drag you down or put you on too much pride. What is past is past, and let's focus to create great new memories and experiences in the future.

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
― Søren Kierkegaard

Timing of Appreciation

This weekend, I am very fortunate to spend it on a very peaceful place in Bali. This is not the first time I visit this place, but this visit feels much more special because this is my first visit in the past year.

In this very peaceful place, I could breathe clean air, hear sound of birds, and away from noise and pollution. It hits me yesterday that I did not appreciate this place as much as now after three weeks working in Jakarta with its pollution, noise, and routines. This place means a lot more to me as I need time to be away from all of the craziness In Jakarta. And I realize that I should’ve appreciated this place more and more as I get older.

During my morning swim I realize that it is very normal for people to take many things for granted. Just like what I did to this place, I believe that all of us usually take stuffs for granted. These stuffs could be something tangible such as money, items, gadgets; it could also be intangible stuffs such as relationships and health. 

An old saying: “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone” could be very true for us. However at this point we could change it! Would you like to find out when it’s gone or right now?

I remember an episode from How I Met Your Mother about graduation googles. The episode mention that all the stuff we had during high school feels more special when we are about to graduate, it also relates about how we reminisce all good time with our special one when we are about to break up. Stuffs feel more special when we are about to lose it.

I believe that it is a part of human nature to take things for granted, but isn’t it better if we could start giving more appreciation on what we have today? Take ten minutes today, think about what you are taking for granted and start to give more appreciation to it. I bet that you will be a happier person just by doing that!

 

"We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude."
- Cynthia Ozick

Investing on Relationships (1) (WHILAL pt. 6)

Investment (n) - an act of devoting time, effort, or energy to a particular undertaking with the expectation of a worthwhile result.

Every time we hear the word investment, it will lead us to the idea of money or wealth. However, does anyone familiar with the idea of investing on relationships? In which relationship here is not only limited on lovers; but also family, friends, coworkers, colleagues, and any type of relationship you could ever mention. The main difference of investing in relationships compared to other type of investment is that we do not need any assets to start it; we only need to put some effort to do it.

How do we invest on other people? The basic investment would be listening and giving some interest. Believe me that every person who we met today, either we met them in the school, public transportation, or even in the restroom, have stories to tell. Last summer, I had to use “ojek” service to go from the airport to the place I stayed. (p.s. “Ojek” is like a cab, but instead of using car to transport people, they use motorbike to do it, it is very common in Indonesia). We started a conversation, and he told me an interesting story that he has a daughter younger than me that was working on a scholarship application process. I assured him that as long as his daughter study hard, never worry about the money because someone else would pay for her studies. I have met so many interesting people just by listening and giving some interest. 

Me and my very good friend, Mike - Japan 2011. He lives in NY.

Did I invest on people by listening and give some interest? YES, I just did. By just listening to people story, I just made a new friend. I might not see him again, but I just assured him that he did not need to worry about his daughter, and I was inspired that an “ojek” rider wanted his daughter to get the best education. Win-win! Imagine that for at least once a day, we put small effort to listen to one person’s story. I bet you that you have no idea how much these stories could inspire you.

And that would be a short-term investment on people! Short term could be defined as to people that we might not see again, but we could never be sure! Because who knows that after years, we would be able to see them again?

Me and Mike's family during Christmas 2013 - Japan 2011 was the last time I saw him.

Does that mean that there is a long-term investment? Yes! And stay in my blog for the next part!

Leave comments below for any thought or ideas because I love to hear back!

If anyone wondering what is WHILAL, read this:
http://chtimw13.blogspot.com/2013/03/introduction-to-whilal.html

"Invest in the human soul, who knows it might be diamond in the rough."

- Mary McLeod Bethune

A Glimpse of Post-Highschool Life

Last week I was invited to attend my high school graduation in Malang. I am very excited to come because this could be time where I see some of my friends whom I last saw two years ago. Something that I did not expect was a reminiscent over three years of high school during the event.

#bestselfiesofGraduation

My high school was not just a regular high school because the students were carefully selected from all over East Java province (equivalent to a state in the U.S) to spend the next three years together in a boarding school. 

It was a very sacred moment for me when the graduates throw their hats off as a confirmation that they are officially finished high school. I was in their shoes two years ago. That moment of graduation means a lot of things. When I saw they gave hugs to each other, it struck me because I know that maybe they won’t be able to see each other again after a while. When I saw some of them talked to their girlfriend/boyfriend, I knew that their relationship might not go as they planned. When they talked to their best friends and promised to stay in touch, I knew that they would not actually stay in touch and after a while they were not best friend anymore. 

Graduates and alumni

My high school taught me loads of lessons, but one lesson that it taught me very well is that people come and go. At some point in our life, we have to realize that people might mean the world to us right now, and accept that in the near future their part in our lives must be over. One thing that we should not worry is that their spaces in our heart would be filled with new friends and new experiences. Something that we have to remember is that even though those people are not in our life anymore, somehow they would forever be part of us in many forms; it could be memories, it could be lessons, it could be heartache, it could be anything else we would like them to be. 

With teachers and friends

Attending my high school’s graduation is a good reminder that I once meant the world to some people. It is a great place to know that my friends are doing very well in college. Also it was good to know that some people actually miss me. Looking back two years ago, I had so many worries about my future but it is good knowing that I am doing fine after high school and I believe that the graduates would be doing fine as well.  

"Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. The older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young."

- Mary Schmich